What To Do In The Case of Domestic Violence
Are you living in Germany and are a victim of domestic violence? You are too scared to take legal action or any action because of your status? Your tight friends are encouraging you to just bear with it: “give him time to change” or “he is not used to being married to a foreigner… explain to him….” and the the famous one “PRAY HARDER – God listens and he is listening to your prayers”.
My dear all these are totally unnecessary. In Germany the law is crystal clear. You place your hand on anybody you are in trouble. According to Paragraph 223 of the (§ 223 StGB) Social Law Book, anybody who inflicts bodily harm to another person in any way, be it physically, health-wise etc will be persecuted according to the law and can be imprisoned from upto 5 years or fined.
That is the first and foremost information that you MUST know when you are in Germany.
Now we move over the act. He beats you the first and important thing that you must do is to call the police who will take the appropriate action. If he is an aggressive person the police will order him according to the law – which is (Wohnungsverweis, der im §27a des Polizeigesetzes geregelt ist.) Return Ban – §27a which is anchored in the laws of the police.
Briefly how does not work:
- You call the police and then you make directly there and then a statement describing the situation, showing your wounds (in most cases there will be a female police and if not, the police is aware and they will arrange for a female police to make documentation of the wounds)
- The police will then ask you if you want the person to be removed from the house that you both live in and if your answer is yes then will be informed of the law regarding §27a which officially bans him from returning back to the house for the next 10 days. The police will take away his keys and he will be asked to pack his bag of clothes and necessary items sufficient for his 10 days leave from the house.
- He will not be allowed to get near the house or near you even if you are going shopping, work, visiting friends etc. This also applies to the children. During this 10 days should he fail to obey this law and you call the police he will be arrested and locked up, charged according the law for breaching the law. He will either be fined or sent to prison or both.
- You will be expected to go to a doctor whom when you tell them that the police has asked you to have the wounds documented the doctor will know what to do
Why only 10 days:
- In this 10 days you are able to get to a lawyer and also it is recommended that you seek therapy in order to help you recover from the traumas that you have been experiencing
- The 10 days also enables you to relax and to reflect on what you want to do as far as the relationship is concerned. If the relationship is irreparable, then you need to see a FAMILY LAWYER (please not a lawyer dealing with anything and everything) specializing in FOREIGNERS RIGHTS.
- You may wish to give your marriage a chance probably with the help of a marriage counsellor – it is all up to you.
A Quick Heads-Up:
When a person has crossed the respect line or what I call the RED LINE and has laid a hand on you, please be told that this person has gone one step too far. Once you forgive him, be rest assured that he will take it as a free right for them to beat you over and over again, and each time it will be worse then it was before.
If you have children involved, do not deceive yourself that children are not seeing. I find that this is also an offence to those small children. You allowing and permitting this to happen to you. If the boys are seeing what dad is doing, they may not understand immediately depending on their ages, when they grow up they will bve of the impression that this is how men should be treating women and if the girl is watching dad beat mum, she too is learning that women are supposed to be beaten by men.
If your husband is violent, he too saw someone saw his father beat his mother and that is how the creation of a “rat race” has begins. It is your responsibility to your children that you show them that this is not normal. Normal family members can have differences, but there are other methods how these are solved without violence.
Here are some contacts that you will need once you decide to make a change in your life:
- Das Hilfetelefon – Beratung und Hilfe für Frauen – Tel: 08000 116 016
- 24 Telefon-Beratung Telephone advise and help for women – 08000 116 016
- Website: https://www.hilfetelefon.de/gewalt-gegen-frauen.html
- Police 110