It is now 1 year since I left my “domestic violent” infested house. Together with my two children, we start a new life. My son kept his promise. He was there for us in all ways. I have never been so proud of him and the sister. These children were the most beautiful and patient little souls that I nearly destroyed because of my lack of ability to make a decision.
When the dust started to settle, I decided that in order to be successful I needed a plan. A masterplan. One for me as an individual, single mom and the other with my powerful team. I also need to hear from other victims how they were coping with the guilt, how they were going about to re-define themselves. At the self-help group meeting one day I sat near Dora a quiet beautiful lady a little too withdrawn and I was curious to see what she was reading.
She showed me the book “Value in the Valley: A Black Woman’s Guide Through Life’s Dilemmas” by Iyanla Vanzant. I looked at her and before I could ask her, the woman I thought was withdrawn and quiet started to give me a review of the book. “I’m reading this book now for the third time she said.” She said she felt the book was talking about her life and because she did not want to start her new life, with old mistakes and luggage she wants to be sure that for each valley she found herself in, she was gaining value. I knew that I was going to buy this book and true to God that was the first book that I read after almost 15 years. The 15 years of marriage never allowed me to read a book because he would feel intimidated.
The book became my bible of life and then followed so many others. By the time I was ready to date I read Steve Harvey’s book: “Act like a lady, think like a man” which I came across as I was looking for my best strategies of dating men, but being in control.
Control is some valuable good that I never want to share or give up again.